Thursday, 10 February 2011
Tuesday, 25 January 2011
One Born Every Minute & There's Always One!
I don't know if anyone's been watching the latest series of One Born Every Minute (OBEM) but geesh!
I watched yesterdays episode with something closely resembling horror, although that doesn't quite sum up the feelings that were nagging at my conscious self. I'm not entirely sure where to start so I guess I'll just plough in there and start my rambings regarding the only actual birth we saw on that episode.
Firstly, my initial thoughts of the husband were "wow, how in tune is he!" and a little jealousy tottered through my head as I mused over how nice it would have been to have had a husband who seemingly cared so much (bearing in mind DH nearly missed E's birth as he was too engrossed in MY wordsearch!). Of course by the end of the episode I would have quite happily gone at him with a baseball bat but alas I digress...
I guess the most overwhelming aspect of that birth that struck me was Donna's fear. I found it truly upsetting that she seemed to have so little faith in her body's ability to birth. Watching her struggle over every contraction, I couldn't help but think how much less painful they would be if she could just relax and let go of that fear. They touched on her previous birth and reading between the lines I think she probably had quite a traumatic time and possibly had some undiagnosed PTSD to deal with. It wasn't her fear however that filled me with whatever emotion it was that I was feeling though, it was the whole process. No one there seemed to be doing anything to calm her and reassure her (although I have to admit that her partner and her sister did do an awesome job as birth partners - not what I would have wanted but clearly what she needed). I couldn't understand why she needed to get out of the pool? What was the urgency with getting the baby out and not letting nature take it's course? And probably more importantly, if they really did need to get her out of the pool because "baby's not descending", how is laying flat on her back on a hospital bed going to help with that issue? It also really strikes me as odd that women who've not had an epidural get told when to push - that really baffles me as there is nothing on this Earth more powerful than the command of the female labouring body during transition. I sure as hell didn't need to be told when to push (other than by my body that is), and nothing could have made me push when my body wasn't telling me to!
I am aware that I get on my soap box a bit too much and get a little too obsessed with the "natural" approach to things, and am trying to view OBEM in a more laid back fashion but still, I just could not get my head around the reasons for anything that happened during that birth (other than the baby coming out of her mum that is lol.
And yes, those of you know know me are no doubt waiting for this next bit: I know that 20% of mums chose to formula feed from birth, one of my bestest friends did with three of her children, but I just don't understand it and have to admit that seeing a baby that was probably less than an hour hold with a bottle of formula in her mouth made me more than a little sad. It's not about judging, I know she'll have had her reasons and who am I to judge her, but I can say how it made me feel and it wasn't pleasant. I wanted the midwife to explain how precious colostrum - what a difference it would make if lo had a first feed at the breast at least...
I guess what I found most upsetting though is that it looked as though her birth was something that happened to her rather than something she participated in. She seemed somehow detached from it all, and from the baby too, or did I imagine that?
For me, the birthing of my youngest three babies was an utterly empowering and awesome experience. I have never, before or since, felt so in tune with my body; neither have I ever felt so invincible. I wish that it was like that for everyone and it makes me sad when it's not.
I watched yesterdays episode with something closely resembling horror, although that doesn't quite sum up the feelings that were nagging at my conscious self. I'm not entirely sure where to start so I guess I'll just plough in there and start my rambings regarding the only actual birth we saw on that episode.
Firstly, my initial thoughts of the husband were "wow, how in tune is he!" and a little jealousy tottered through my head as I mused over how nice it would have been to have had a husband who seemingly cared so much (bearing in mind DH nearly missed E's birth as he was too engrossed in MY wordsearch!). Of course by the end of the episode I would have quite happily gone at him with a baseball bat but alas I digress...
I guess the most overwhelming aspect of that birth that struck me was Donna's fear. I found it truly upsetting that she seemed to have so little faith in her body's ability to birth. Watching her struggle over every contraction, I couldn't help but think how much less painful they would be if she could just relax and let go of that fear. They touched on her previous birth and reading between the lines I think she probably had quite a traumatic time and possibly had some undiagnosed PTSD to deal with. It wasn't her fear however that filled me with whatever emotion it was that I was feeling though, it was the whole process. No one there seemed to be doing anything to calm her and reassure her (although I have to admit that her partner and her sister did do an awesome job as birth partners - not what I would have wanted but clearly what she needed). I couldn't understand why she needed to get out of the pool? What was the urgency with getting the baby out and not letting nature take it's course? And probably more importantly, if they really did need to get her out of the pool because "baby's not descending", how is laying flat on her back on a hospital bed going to help with that issue? It also really strikes me as odd that women who've not had an epidural get told when to push - that really baffles me as there is nothing on this Earth more powerful than the command of the female labouring body during transition. I sure as hell didn't need to be told when to push (other than by my body that is), and nothing could have made me push when my body wasn't telling me to!
I am aware that I get on my soap box a bit too much and get a little too obsessed with the "natural" approach to things, and am trying to view OBEM in a more laid back fashion but still, I just could not get my head around the reasons for anything that happened during that birth (other than the baby coming out of her mum that is lol.
And yes, those of you know know me are no doubt waiting for this next bit: I know that 20% of mums chose to formula feed from birth, one of my bestest friends did with three of her children, but I just don't understand it and have to admit that seeing a baby that was probably less than an hour hold with a bottle of formula in her mouth made me more than a little sad. It's not about judging, I know she'll have had her reasons and who am I to judge her, but I can say how it made me feel and it wasn't pleasant. I wanted the midwife to explain how precious colostrum - what a difference it would make if lo had a first feed at the breast at least...
I guess what I found most upsetting though is that it looked as though her birth was something that happened to her rather than something she participated in. She seemed somehow detached from it all, and from the baby too, or did I imagine that?
For me, the birthing of my youngest three babies was an utterly empowering and awesome experience. I have never, before or since, felt so in tune with my body; neither have I ever felt so invincible. I wish that it was like that for everyone and it makes me sad when it's not.
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