Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go.
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child born on the Sabbath Day,
Is fair and wise and good and gay.
I was a Thursday's child so not sure that I'm 100% behind this peom. Although, looking at socio-economic background, I suppose I have gone far compared with my parents. I suppose some people would consider having four children as having gone too far so perhaps... Lol.
I was thinking about this little peom this morning as E was on another of her irritable hours and it struck me that she was born on a Wednesday haha! It did lead me to think some more though about expectations and stereotypes that we inadvertently impose on our children. There are things that we put on our children ourselves. For example, I caught myself saying to J the other day "when you go to university" without really thinking about it. It wasn't until later that it occurred to me that he may not want to go to uni. I'm certain that he has the capabilities but he is very much like me and I don't think that I'd have opted to go to university when I was 18, even if I'd had a more stable childhood and had the opportunity. What is the impact of these passing comments and imposed expectations? Will he automatically assume that he's going to uni, or could it possibly make him suffer should he decide he doesn't want to? Will he be afraid of disappointing us, and would we even be disappointed? It's a scary thought how much we can influence our children by passing comments but I think what scares me the most is the inability to know how much we're influencing them and what exactly the impact of that influence will be.
And then there's expectations and decisions based purely on gender. I was going through my airing cupboard earlier and came across J's old Toy Story bedding (Buzz Lightyear themed) and threw it aside for storage. I had in mind that it may come in useful again if we ever foster another boy. All this going through my mind and it never occurred to me to offer them to Sophie or Mae despite them both loving the Toy Story films - they were boys' bedding... This sort of gender expectation has been rattling round in my mind on and off for a few months, ever since reading about Gender Neutral Parenting a while back. What I've read has raised some interesting thoughts regarding stereotypes and their impact. I personally think that GNP is pretty scary tbh but it has made me think.
Going back to the poem, apparently M will work hard for a living. Bit of a shame for her really as she missed being fair, wise, good and gay by about 20 minutes, just think, if I'd held on for a few more minutes, she'd be GOOD! Damn! S is also full of woe (tell me something I don't know lol), and J is lucky enough to have been born on the Sabbath (wonder when that's gonna kick in?).
I know it's just a bit of fun but it's definitely food for thought!
Thursday, 9 September 2010
Sunday, 5 September 2010
So it's back to school tomorrow.
This summer has been pretty mundane if I'm being honest. We had a few highlights - camping was one. It was a really good trip but was only for three nights. Then we went to London for dinner, show and hotel which was lovely but again, just one night.
I have loved having the kids around. Although it has to be said that I am becoming more and more convinced that my eldest is becoming more and more suicidal (his goading of me and appalling attitude is just far too frequent to be a natural progression of adolescence) so that's something to watch out for.
E has continued her general routine of being poorly and thus poor sleep, well for a few days (good sleep), then teething (poor sleep), then well for a few days (good sleep), then poorly again... And so the cycle continues. She's on the cusp of walking and I think that too may be messing with her sleep. I do wonder if perhaps the leaking shower from above her room has something to do with her getting poorly so often - there's a constant wet patch on her ceiling and it smells very damp in there. We redid the sealant yesterday but it remains to be seen if this has had an impact on her health.
S had brought a whole new depth and meaning to that old line from the Oxo (or was it Bisto?) advert of days gone by: "My mummy says, when I grow up I'm going to be a proper little madam!". She has sported such lines as "you just sprayed water all over me you moron" and "no Daddy, I'm not pants, just the boss" when hubby dared call her "bossy pants". She has this poise about her that just speaks volumes. Words fail me when trying to illustrate that for anyone who may read this - I think the quote above just sums it up! It's funny. I've never been particularly girlie and yet my eldest daughter is very much so - definitely a girlie girl. I can see her becoming very catty too so will have to keep an eye out!
M is just M. I think it's the age but she is such fun right now. Some of the things she comes out with just crack me up and she epitomizes the whole concept of "cheeky"! She's got this big round face that just reiterates her whole character and she is so entertaining. She is learning new ways every day of winding her older sister up and that is infuriating. Poor S can't seem to ignore her and M takes full advantage. I'm very curious as to how E will fit into the dynamics of this little duo when she's old enough.
So as from tomorrow we have normal life restored and routine will once again have a place in this house. Part of me has longed for this day but a larger part is saddened that it is so close.
This summer has been pretty mundane if I'm being honest. We had a few highlights - camping was one. It was a really good trip but was only for three nights. Then we went to London for dinner, show and hotel which was lovely but again, just one night.
I have loved having the kids around. Although it has to be said that I am becoming more and more convinced that my eldest is becoming more and more suicidal (his goading of me and appalling attitude is just far too frequent to be a natural progression of adolescence) so that's something to watch out for.
E has continued her general routine of being poorly and thus poor sleep, well for a few days (good sleep), then teething (poor sleep), then well for a few days (good sleep), then poorly again... And so the cycle continues. She's on the cusp of walking and I think that too may be messing with her sleep. I do wonder if perhaps the leaking shower from above her room has something to do with her getting poorly so often - there's a constant wet patch on her ceiling and it smells very damp in there. We redid the sealant yesterday but it remains to be seen if this has had an impact on her health.
S had brought a whole new depth and meaning to that old line from the Oxo (or was it Bisto?) advert of days gone by: "My mummy says, when I grow up I'm going to be a proper little madam!". She has sported such lines as "you just sprayed water all over me you moron" and "no Daddy, I'm not pants, just the boss" when hubby dared call her "bossy pants". She has this poise about her that just speaks volumes. Words fail me when trying to illustrate that for anyone who may read this - I think the quote above just sums it up! It's funny. I've never been particularly girlie and yet my eldest daughter is very much so - definitely a girlie girl. I can see her becoming very catty too so will have to keep an eye out!
M is just M. I think it's the age but she is such fun right now. Some of the things she comes out with just crack me up and she epitomizes the whole concept of "cheeky"! She's got this big round face that just reiterates her whole character and she is so entertaining. She is learning new ways every day of winding her older sister up and that is infuriating. Poor S can't seem to ignore her and M takes full advantage. I'm very curious as to how E will fit into the dynamics of this little duo when she's old enough.
So as from tomorrow we have normal life restored and routine will once again have a place in this house. Part of me has longed for this day but a larger part is saddened that it is so close.
Friday, 3 September 2010
The picture of motherhood
I've been feeling down lately. I'm just that sort. I go through phases of joy, phases of contentment, phases of mundane daily life and phases of blugh. Lately has been the latter.
Life is just hard. It's generally fulfilling and joyous and so rewarding too but it's HARD. We've been having a few tough nights lately and I think that's when the impact and responsibility of motherhood hits home the hardest. There's no letup, no respite and no clocking off. I am "Mum(my)" literally 24/7. I don't get to leave the office, and there are no holidays for the stay at home mum.
It seems like every moment of my life is consumed with demands. Demands for food. Demands for comfort and demands of my time, my oh so limited time. Being the parent of a teenager also means there are further demands - demands on the car, and demands on my purse! On top of all this I'm trying to retain a sense of who I am and what I want to do and maintain for myself. I've then got to figure out little slots to put into my marriage and my sex life to keep things sweet between me and the other half. And then there's the weight loss. I need to lose FIVE STONE. It sounds like such a huge amount of weight - probably because it is! My mantra with so many things in life has been "if she can do it, so can I" but I just don't know anymore - can I really? Do I have it in me? Is life just going to get the better of me?
And then of course there's the guilt. I was watching a show the other day and a woman on there talked about the day that her husband and her three year old and her ten week old got killed in a RTA. The programme had me balling my eyes out and I turned it off with a solemn vow to stop moaning and just be GRATEFUL! So why do I still spend my sleepless nights crying about how little sleep I'm getting and how much my head will hurt the following day? Why am I not cherishing every moment with my ten month old? Must try harder!!!
All this is circulating through my head this morning. I so did not want to leave my bed but the husband had to leave for work and once again E was crying for me, sometimes there's nothing else for it, she just needs her mummy! So begrudgingly I waddled downstairs in a haze of resentment and sleep deprived fogginess and lifted the crying babe into my arms. I sat down and nursed her to sooth her cries. She looked at me with such love and I couldn't help but succumb to the pang of guilt over my selfishness. She relaxed so much that she finally gave way to her overtired self and fell asleep. I sat there for a while just looking at her, taking her in and enjoying my child. I then stood up to put her to bed.
At that moment, just as I stood, I caught our reflection in the newly placed large mirror in our lounge. And there was my answer. In that tiny pocket of time, everything stood still and I saw for the first time ever my role in life so clearly defined that it took my breath away. My youngest child, still at my breast. Me with my crazy bed hair and mis-match pajamas holding her to me - the beauty of the image... I am mother, and I am blessed and I am so very grateful!
Life isn't perfect, and yes it's HARD. But just because it's hard, doesn't mean it's not worth doing. I've come out the other side of that little epiphany and am left feeling a little more grounded. I just hope that I can call that image back to memory whenever I next feel like running from the house kicking and screaming!
Life is just hard. It's generally fulfilling and joyous and so rewarding too but it's HARD. We've been having a few tough nights lately and I think that's when the impact and responsibility of motherhood hits home the hardest. There's no letup, no respite and no clocking off. I am "Mum(my)" literally 24/7. I don't get to leave the office, and there are no holidays for the stay at home mum.
It seems like every moment of my life is consumed with demands. Demands for food. Demands for comfort and demands of my time, my oh so limited time. Being the parent of a teenager also means there are further demands - demands on the car, and demands on my purse! On top of all this I'm trying to retain a sense of who I am and what I want to do and maintain for myself. I've then got to figure out little slots to put into my marriage and my sex life to keep things sweet between me and the other half. And then there's the weight loss. I need to lose FIVE STONE. It sounds like such a huge amount of weight - probably because it is! My mantra with so many things in life has been "if she can do it, so can I" but I just don't know anymore - can I really? Do I have it in me? Is life just going to get the better of me?
And then of course there's the guilt. I was watching a show the other day and a woman on there talked about the day that her husband and her three year old and her ten week old got killed in a RTA. The programme had me balling my eyes out and I turned it off with a solemn vow to stop moaning and just be GRATEFUL! So why do I still spend my sleepless nights crying about how little sleep I'm getting and how much my head will hurt the following day? Why am I not cherishing every moment with my ten month old? Must try harder!!!
All this is circulating through my head this morning. I so did not want to leave my bed but the husband had to leave for work and once again E was crying for me, sometimes there's nothing else for it, she just needs her mummy! So begrudgingly I waddled downstairs in a haze of resentment and sleep deprived fogginess and lifted the crying babe into my arms. I sat down and nursed her to sooth her cries. She looked at me with such love and I couldn't help but succumb to the pang of guilt over my selfishness. She relaxed so much that she finally gave way to her overtired self and fell asleep. I sat there for a while just looking at her, taking her in and enjoying my child. I then stood up to put her to bed.
At that moment, just as I stood, I caught our reflection in the newly placed large mirror in our lounge. And there was my answer. In that tiny pocket of time, everything stood still and I saw for the first time ever my role in life so clearly defined that it took my breath away. My youngest child, still at my breast. Me with my crazy bed hair and mis-match pajamas holding her to me - the beauty of the image... I am mother, and I am blessed and I am so very grateful!
Life isn't perfect, and yes it's HARD. But just because it's hard, doesn't mean it's not worth doing. I've come out the other side of that little epiphany and am left feeling a little more grounded. I just hope that I can call that image back to memory whenever I next feel like running from the house kicking and screaming!
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